Hello, Timeless,
I'm pretty good with canonical things, too!
The reference that Steed met Dr. Keel due to help for nervous exhaustion is directly from an episode, although I cannot remember which right now. We are supposed to think they hadn't met before Hot Snow, but this was changed in that line of Steed having used Keel for his actual medical skills himself. I'm quite sure of that.
Much does change in the canon over time. We see Steed fly a large plane in the Dr. King episode "Dead on Course", but then in TNA in "Trap" we hear Steed say he's never flown a plane which was the exact same size as he flew before. We hear Steed say to Susie in "Hostage" that he went on a cattle drive in 1942, (!), right during the middle of WWII, which is of course, preposterous and must be a complete lie. Susie oddly doesn't call him on it. As for Steed working with Mrs. Gale once in 1953, that is also very hard to believe, given the timing. For one thing, the Mau-Mau rebellion in Kenya went from 1952-1960. Although only 32 Europeans were killed, the killing of them did not begin until 1953, and as we know, one of the dead was Cathy Gale's husband. It's hard to believe that after her life falls apart in 1953, losing her farm, her husband, and having to return to England a mourning widow, and getting her life back together, the first thing she would do is work with Steed. I don't see that as likely, even if mentioned briefly. We know that one writer could undo what another writer established in another episode if the script watcher didn't catch lines regarding character history. So, there are disparate bits of info given to us throughout the series and everyone has to choose which bit of info they wish to incorporate into their own understanding of each character's history. BUT, if they did work together, it's understandable they might not have gotten together for another ten years--Steed was overseas for many of those years, and very busy, and also Cathy was going to school and getting her PhD in anthropology, reestablishing herself in England, and getting a job at the British Museum. So, there's no indication their separation, if one existed, was due to her dislike and disgust of Steed. That is a far-reaching theory, I think.
I think it's fair to assume that if Steed did not wish to have Tara with him as a partner, he would have said so, and Mother would have acquiesced to his choice. As we see throughout the Tara episodes, although Mother is supposedly in charge, his respect for Steed is immense, and he allows Steed to work and operate pretty much as the agent wishes. Steed is already rising to the top position he has in TNA during the Tara years. There is no reason to believe Steed would be forced to be saddled with a partner he did not wish to have, including Tara.
I think your idea that Steed lets Cathy live in his flat solely for home-cooked meals is a nice thought but unconfirmed; it is very likely also because she could not afford to live long outside her home due to accumulated additional costs. Needless to say, the main point is that only a very good friend would allow someone to move fully in, for whatever duration required, while refurbishing was occurring. Considering Steed was an active bachelor, this could put a serious crimp in his style for awhile which he willingly allowed to occur solely for Cathy's sake. I don't think it's fair to see some manipulative aspect of everything Steed does; he could at times just be a good friend, even in those early years.
It is true that for a minority of episodes, a handful, Steed forced participation by his partners. Considering I highly disliked Venus, and felt her character was entirely out of place for any type of Avenger partnership with Steed--which the writers and producers apparently agreed with--the episodes starring her were awkward at best. But, for the vast majority of Cathy episodes, Cathy was a willing participant, and knew what was going on. I'm not saying Steed was above board, as we know he wasn't, but that for most episodes his partners were aware of the scenario and did agree to participate. If Steed was really being a pest, or seriously annoying them, they could have, for example, called their MP, the newspapers or anything to equally threaten him. But, they innately believed in his work, in protecting Britain, and even in disliking his attitude and methodology at times, must have enjoyed being part of the success of his missions. Or else, Cathy was a masochist!
I would disagree with you that in the end the bad outweighs the good with Cathy and Steed, and we can each interpret the Christmas Card as we wish--if you wish to think Cathy hated him, that's fine. I've been a fan long enough to know that we all see very different aspects of the same show! That's fascinating to me, but quite a reality. I would believe that she had more a love/hate relationship with him and even though she disliked how he worked at times, she did like him and saw very positive aspects to him outside of his work. Of course she disliked the end of "Lobster Quadrille" but we have no idea whether she put a kibosh on their whole relationship as a result, or not. That is up to each fan to decide on their own. Anyway, a Christmas card is a good indication that she wished to stay in touch with Steed and he sincerely enjoyed receiving it.
Again, I appreciate that you wish to interpret the series in your own way, but there is no proof that any Keel or King severance was based on being fed up with Steed, and finding him nasty. I could restate that as a physician, it just may have been that they decided to rededicate themselves solely to their practice--each of our opinions can neither be proven or disproven, so we must mutually respect each others' interpretation for both men disappearing from Steed's life. I would also say that perhaps Steed ended the relationships as the doctors became too busy to go away with Steed in missions and he needed someone who could fit being his partner into their life. We can interpret their disappearances in many different ways.
I have already acknowledged in my previous email that I fully comprehend the nature of Steed in the earlier shows, and yes, indeed, there are "unflattering aspects" to him. However, the spy/agent business is by its very nature "unflattering"--and it's lucky Steed was out there working as he did, mostly, to prevent the crises which were oftentimes in plans by masterminds to wreak havoc on Britain's shores. That he encompassed a devotion to protecting Britain was wonderful; that any means he used to garner success was indeed something that could leave a bad feeling in the mouth of any Steed fan.
We will probably stay in disagreement on the responsibility of partners to work or not with him, and whether they had a continual right to blame Steed if they repeatedly wound up involved (outside of a couple of episodes whereby he dragged them into his plan); and also their innate relationship with him, and whether they ended their partnerships amiably or with spite and anger. The ending relationship opinion is all based on personal conjecture, and perhaps on our own personality and natures, or other untold interpretative factors--who knows? I am not trying to convince you of anything or change your point of view, just to discuss a few things and enjoy reading and learning about your individual interpretations. They are very interesting.
Anyway, I think the key point is that the evolution of Steed's character through the years was masterful and extremely rare on any other TV show. For example, Gunsmoke played on TV for 20 years and Marshall Matt Dillon was the exact same man from the first to the last episode, even given all he had gone through. John Steed, on the other hand, grew and changed over the years in a very realistic way, and created a complexity of character which was marvelous to watch. While fans will probably always debate the subjects we are discussing I hope we can all appreciate the skill of Patrick Macnee to change so realistically, but so pragmatically, as a main character. It was sheer brilliance, and the writers and producers have to be applauded as well. As the times changed, and as partners changed, and as he aged, Steed changed, evolved and matured. That's another way in long list that The Avenger set a precedent for which few other TV shows and actors have had the mastery to attain.
Mona